Aging

I'm just a few days away from my birthday. I don't give much thought to getting older, because since 25, I haven't really felt older. Part of that is due to not accomplishing things in the time I wanted to do them, and part of it is because I just don't see my age when I look in the mirror. Some days, when I feel a little bit of insecurity, I find myself emotionally in high school. Some days, when I look at my 5 year-old niece, I see myself. I think of my post-college adult life, the years when I felt like I should be somewhere else, doing something other than what I was doing. I think of how quickly the years have passed, despite some days seeming like they were the longest ever.

It's strange, aging.

In some ways, I feel physically younger than I did 15 years ago. I'm definitely in better shape than I was at that time. I'm healthier, overall. But then there's the patch of gray hair on the top of the back of my head. That's hard to hide. It's also hard to see, because my hair dresser was the one who pointed it out to me. Did I mention she's 10 years younger? She is. And I see laugh lines around my mouth, the tiny formation of crow's feet on the outsides of my eyes (held off this long, I'm sure, because I am vigilant about wearing sunglasses). I look at other women I see when I'm out and about and I wonder how old they are, what they do, how they treat themselves. I look at my mom, who will be 59 this year. She's aged a good bit in the past few years (dealing with a sick spouse will do that to you), but she still doesn't look her age. I've met several women who are 10-15 years her junior that look older than she does. Genetics can be great, right?

All of that aside, for some reason this birthday feels bigger than the last few. 34 seems very adult. More adult than 33, 32, or 31. Is this what happens? One day, you wake up and you feel like an adult? Which birthday stood out to you?