Can't sleep, need to make some decisions...

So I signed up for this a couple of weeks ago. Of course the first email arrived 2 days into my vacation in Falmouth, so I said I would wait and start a week late, after I got home. That would require my detox to have started today, but a mini battenberg, some maple roasted nuts, eggs benedict, 2 bordertown burgers and most of a tub of haagen dazs has safely put paid to that idea. Even seeing my reflection in the window yesterday at bellydancing, which was a LOT bigger than I seemed to think, didn't put me off eating until I feel sick AGAIN today. On the up-side, having finally got my blood pressure down to something not stroke-inducingly high (127/79!) AND getting back my blood tests (not diabetic, normal cholesterol) I did go out and buy something I have not owned since I left school 11 years ago; a pair of running shoes. Not only those but some trousers and a bamboo top that I can run in too - I didn't think jeans or a maxi dress quite cut it. So, tomorrow the detox starts, and I am going to start a "Couch to 10k" programme too. I should feel ashamed of myself, really. I work with all these disabled kids whose bodies won't do anything they want them to, who would probably love to have a healthy "normal" body, and look at me, a bloody nurse who should know better weighing 238lbs. Awful. SO! This time, I HAVE TO mean it.