Late, As Usual

I had intended to start this detox early, along with a list of many other things to get out of the way in order to start 2010 on the right foot. Unfortunately, as is so often the case with me, a million things got in the way. I’m still sick, and with my dad home the last few days, it was harder to deviate from routine and start something new.

I mentioned in my last post that I was stuck home sick. I’m much better now, but not totally. I won’t be able to avoid alcohol, thanks to NyQuil, and I’ll probably be relying more on chicken broth than doing the work of a smoothie, at least for a couple of days. I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt about this. It's as if I’m in school and will get a bad grade for not doing everything exactly as it is supposed to be on the schedule it is supposed to be, and I’m going to fail all of you by “cheating” and having chicken broth or not eating fish when the plan tells me to. More than once this weekend I asked myself what I was thinking when I volunteered to basically fail you all in this way!!

I’ve been so hard on myself for struggling to get it together, for not being able to do the fitness assessment in whole yet, or get the supplies for the smoothies and soup, or even have the energy for all of it. The truth, though, is that I am trying. One half of a dose of NyQuil has resulted in me sleeping until 11 or 12, and even then it takes another hour or two to actually wake up. I mention this not to be whiny, but to try to look at this in a more forgiving context. I had such big plans for today – I was going to wake up early, go to Stop & Shop, play with the blender or at least stock up on some liquid substitutes that would do in a pinch. I also planned on doing laundry, studying, and running other errands including UPS and the post office.

It’s now 5pm, and I am on the couch in my pajamas. I have successfully washed one load of laundry (which is really just a quilt), taken out the garbage, emailed a very dear friend, and had a soy-protein liquid concoction. I haven’t studied, but I did clear out my DVR a little. At the moment, what I am most grateful for is Sarah Rose Cavanaugh’s blog post today, because it makes me feel a lot less guilty about what I haven’t been able to accomplish and the smoothies that I haven’t made yet. The best I can do is fit what I can into the rest of today and start over again tomorrow, giving it my best shot. Perhaps just 1/3 of a dose of NyQuil tonight?

How has the first day been going for all of you? I’ve been catching up on all the comments on the community board, and I feel so inspired by all of you!! What an amazing group of women (and some men, I think?) you all are. I hope that today has been going well!