Love Languages

If you've been through pre-marital counseling at a church (or church-related entity) recently, you've probably been instructed to read Gary Chapman's, The Five Love Languages as part of your program. For those of you not familiar with Chapman's book, he proposes that there are five basic languages of love that we speak in all of our relationships.

The languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Acts of Service
3. Physical Touch
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Quality Time

We all speak a primary and secondary love language, and it's in these languages that we feel loved the most by those in our lives. For example, my primary language is words of affirmation and my secondary is acts of service. My husband knows this, and he pours his energy into making sure he tells me how much he loves me every day, as well as doing little things for me that he knows I will appreciate (such as the dishes after dinner each night). He also knows that when I make his lunch each day, and making the bed in the morning are my way of showing him how much I love him. 

The book also addresses the conflict that occurs when couples speak to their significant others in their primary love language, but it's not the language of his/her loved one. Oops. 

So, to help avoid future conflict, or at least learn how it came to be, check out the online assessments offered on the web site: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/ so you and your loved ones can learn your love languages.

Happy Valentine's Day!