We’ve all heard that saying but how many of us can really relate to it? I’ve come to realize over time that I can completely relate to this. My husband and I have a very strong and happy marriage even though I think we are polar opposites. We do have many similarities such as hobbies etc but when it comes to our personalities we are total opposites.

I have always been a pretty anxious, easily stressed out, high strung person. I’m also highly motivated when it comes to work and school and I’m borderline perfectionist. My husband on the other hand is the total opposite. Nothing, I mean nothing, makes him anxious or stressed out. He’s satisfied with just getting by at work and school and is definitely not a perfectionist! Those are the highlights; we have several other opposite traits.

Everything became quite clear back in 2007. I was less than2 months pregnant with our son, our first child, and my husband ended up in the hospital with major headaches. After an MRI they discovered a mass on his skull. Luckily it is a benign calcification but it’s the way we both handled it that I really remember. I was a disaster for the week we spent not knowing what was going on. I immediately started wondering if our first child would have his Dad around. It was awful and my thoughts were probably a bit extreme but that is how I tend to react to situations. The whole time my husband was as calm as can be. He just kept saying “it will all work out, I’ll be fine, no matter what I have we’ll get through it”. He has just always been this way. When I used to suffer from panic attacks he had a way of calming me down and making me realize it was just a panic attack and that I wasn’t going to die.

What’s the point, right? Well, the point is that as opposites we attracted and it worked. We truly balance each other out. When I am stressed out about work my husband always just shrugs it off with a comment such as “it’s just a job, it won’t matter in the end, and it’s not like you’re curing major diseases”. It sounds silly but it really makes a difference. I know that it’s just a job and I shouldn’t let it get to me the way it does but hearing it from someone else is sometimes all you need.

Being like night and day is great for us, probably me more than anything. I think if I were with someone just like me who was a naturally anxious person I would be bad off and not finding ways to deal with my issues the way I am.

So what about you? Do you find that your significant other or best friend is the opposite of you? Does it make the relationship stronger?

http://awholelotofliving.blogspot.com/

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Comment by Catherine Garcia on June 1, 2012 at 9:44pm

Michelle, I think we would be in the same boat if my husband and I were the same! For me, I need that balance  :-) I have definitely mellowed out a lot too. It's not worth the effects that stress has on you. Tiffany, I think my husband and I need to take a personality test because I would love to see the results! Whatever the balance is, if it works for you then that is all that matters! Thanks for sharing  :-)

Comment by Tiffany Britton on June 1, 2012 at 10:56am

My husband and I were given personality tests as part of our premarital counseling. The pastor laughed when he gave us our results, because we were almost exactly the same personality type (he is INFP and I am INFJ). All of our conflicts occur between that P and J. We definitely handle stress differently (I jump into action, he thinks and then acts). Not as much balance as most couples have, but it's enough for us.

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